Sweet Child of Mine

Ok so I’m SO stinkin’ jealous of my fiance right now! He has work off today and is hanging out with Beckett. I, on the other hand, am at work until 6!!!!!!! Boo, hiss! Don’t get me wrong, I get days off too- and my bubby has had a very LONG 9 day work week filled with over time and only has 1 day off until he goes back for another crazy week full of over time.  At least I was lucky enough to spend my morning with the babe so he could sleep in a little. (i love weekend hours!) But of course that doesn’t supress the desire to have a lazy Saturday at home with my family!!!!  What’s the cherry on the pile of crap you may ask???

I just got pictures sent to my phone of baby and daddy playing:

freakin adorable…. i love when he is happy! (which is alot!)

caught practicing his walking! (he uses the couch to get to his feet and then he takes a couple steps or dives towards a toy or animal)

showing of his toothy grin! (you  can barely see his top tooth, but it’s there! haha)

…and now we know what he was trying to get! this little guy must be going through a growth spurt because he downs them as if they were chocolate milk! (i’d like to think my milk is just as good) haha

      Well, while getting photos periodically helps me make it to the end of the day, it also makes me want to run home even more!  Can’t wait to walk through the door to their big smiles and plant a kiss on these cheeks!!!!!

Dear Beckett,

                   With just a week away from you turning 9 months old, I am left in a state of shock. You are no longer my sweet little newborn snuggled up to my chest, but now an energetic and happy little man. Just yesterday we spent the day together running errands, playing, you even joined me to my doctor’s appointment and were perfect the entire time (and flirted with the nurses of course). You giggled most of the day away with your infectious laugh and grin, but it was when I put you down for your nap that it really hit me. Just as when I held you in my arms for the first time, you lay there so quite, grassing your fingers across my face as you drifted off to dreamland. It was in that moment that I became overwhelmed with love for you all over again. Don’t get me wrong, my love grows for you everyday- every second, but it was this instance that knocked me off my feet with love. Love for your dad for giving you to me, for you , and for all you have become in just the short time you have been here with us. You have developed and accomplished quite a bit in these 9 months, and I couldn’t be more proud of you my son!

        Your progress amazes me, as you have blown all the milestones away thus far! You are running about a month or so a head of schedule, which is only a testament to how smart you are and that you are capable of anything you set your mind to. Even though you tend to be early at everything, it does not concern me one bit when you take your time in any areas, because I know you will master them all in your time. I learned that when you were [finally!] born at the end of 42 weeks, but came out one of the healthiest babies I’ve ever seen! haha

        Right now you are working on cutting your top two teeth and are making great progress! (you got your bottom two a couple months ago) The right side is making the most head-way, as it is already popping out for all to see. It’s a pretty good look for you, my cute little snaggletooth! I thought your gummy grin was priceless- but this toothy smile has the power to make anyone who see’s it chuckle. To be expected, with teeth comes the desire to eat more exotic foods than veggie purees and you got the “solid food” bug bad! You are a great eater with quite the appetite, but lately you have been rejecting your baby food as if to say “common mom, this is kid stuff- give me the good stuff!” haha  You much prefer finger foods such as: frozen peas and carrots, bits of bread (you are a bread-a-holic like your dad!), bite size peices of fruit, and whatever else can be cut up or nawed on. OH!- and you L.O.V.E.- love mac and cheese, something we found out after you threw a fit for some off of our plates. (the smell/look must have intrigued you) After giving you some, that was it, there was no turning back for you, which teaching me how to be very creative in the meals we give you.

          But your hunger doesn’t just stop at food though, you have an amazing hunger for life. If something is going on (anything at all)- you want to be apart of it. You wanna go, see, and do everything you can, and all at once. It’s actually quite comical to watch you “run/crawl” (hind legs up while crawling) and scoot around from place to place, picking up and discarding your toys along the way, jabbering a mile a minute. You move with such enthusiasm and intent. You are on a mission and nothing can stand in your way! You have learned how to scoot flat objects (like a pack of diapers or your box of blocks) over to the couch or side table in order to climb or reach things you should not be having. You know how to slide yourself backwards off the couch and have even attempted the stairs (YIKES!). You are truly an adventurous and daring little one, giving mommy a run for her money! It’s incredible!  When did you become this amazing, fun-loving little boy? You make me want to everyday become a better mom for you, because you are such an awesome son. I feel bad for not documenting more of your beginning months but you are growing at warp speed and I can’t keep up. But I will do better I promise!

            And just remember, no matter how fast you sprout up- you will never out grow my love for you! And that’s a promise my sweet boy!

love you always!

your mum

                    I knew this time would come eventually,but I was kinda hoping to avoid it all together! Beckett’s first fall. :( Just thinking about it, gives me a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomache.

                   What happened was: After feeding Beckett, I set him in the middle of the couch with a pillow on the outside (to prevent these things from happening). He laid there half awake- half sleeping, in his milk-drunk haze. Since he seemed to be dozing off and Ozzy desperately needed to  go out, I went to the front door (not far from the couch) to let him out. Since school had just gotten out and since Ozzy can’t control his urge to run up and jump on the many kiddo’s that walk by our house, I decided to go out with him. Even with the door open I couldn’t hear Beckett stirring on the couch, but what I DID hear was a thud…. and then hard, furious crying.  Both Oz and I ran back inside where I found the pillow half on/half off the couch and my poor boy on the floor. The sight alone made tears roll down my cheeks as I picked him up and tried to assure him (and myself) that everything was gonna be alright. I felt (feel) absolutely terrible. How could I let this happen? I know these things happen, and I guess it’s great that we made it this far without a big spill, but I hate not being able to instantly make things all better.

                    Completely startled and quite worked up, it took Becks a while to calm down. As I rocked him back and forth, I wondered how long it would take for him to forgive me/forget about the incident. Probably no where near how long it would take me to forgive myself. Finally, my little man closed his tear streaked eyes and took a deep breath as he settled in for a nap. I sat there for a bit staring at him as we rocked. He has gotten so big already, and this experience definately made me realize just how capable and strong he really is. Looks like I’m going to have to keep extra close watch of this wiggley little 3month old.

              For those of you who follow(ed) my blog while I was pregnant, you may have noticed that I have been absent from tumblr for quite a bit. This very long hiatus was due to an unfortunate work situation. Long story short, I was put in a very awkward position, in an environment that I didnt feel was accepting or supportive of my pregnancy. While this was going on, I felt extremely protective of my family and our privacy and felt it best to not expose any information (good or bad) in fear that it would be used against me. (a few of my co-workers knew about and read my blog and could have easily passed the information along to management) I ultimately decided to remove myself from the negative environment, and while I am saddened (and truthfully a little angry) by all the time lost, I am excited to put it all behind me. And also to be back blogging again!!! 

             Now that I’m back, it’s hard to know where to start?!?! There is so much to share! Like an old friend that I haven’t seen in a while I am busting at the seems to tell you every little detail of whats happened these past months! But in an attempt to not overwhelm you and myself I will try to first stay current while I get back into the swing of things, and then work on filling in the gaps. Sound good? I think so too!

            Last but not least, I would just like to thank those of you who didn’t just stop following me. I know some of you forgot about me, but alot of you not only missed me- you encouraged me to come back and start bloging again! For that I thank you!!!